ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
But theres a keg here and me gusta
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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