Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
