Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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  (717): Whoa Z and x make the same sound http://tfl.nu/syb7
  Replies (30) Good night (3497) Bad night (694)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.

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  (623): So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving. http://tfl.nu/wfwo
  Replies (83) Good night (3856) Bad night (1177)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.

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  (404): Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again. http://tfl.nu/0won
  Replies (20) Good night (2677) Bad night (1121)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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  (765): I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me. http://tfl.nu/y0cn
  Replies (4) Good night (3118) Bad night (641)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.

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  (402): I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really. http://tfl.nu/wq20
  Replies (13) Good night (1349) Bad night (774)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am

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  (727): I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am http://tfl.nu/ogdh
  Replies (7) Good night (900) Bad night (1320)
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  (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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  (530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
  Replies (8) Good night (2154) Bad night (607)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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  (775): The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me http://tfl.nu/fs79
  Replies (3) Good night (1221) Bad night (540)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?

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  (248): On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he? http://tfl.nu/et15
  Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (300)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!

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  (217): Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome! http://tfl.nu/ig6m
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (269)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.

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  (+61): Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That. http://tfl.nu/q1fl
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (235)
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  (858): View more from California

  I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"

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  (858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well" http://tfl.nu/9o99
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (251)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride

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  (716): Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride http://tfl.nu/1rhf
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (205)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.

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  (417): People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty. http://tfl.nu/m1l5
  Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (164)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

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  (615): IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME! http://tfl.nu/omc2
  Replies (1) Good night (170) Bad night (76)

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