found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
is wine microwaveable?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.