Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets

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  (906): quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets http://tfl.nu/q9v7
  Replies (11) Good night (772) Bad night (2568)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
  Replies (16) Good night (1819) Bad night (5525)
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  (408): View more from California

  You drunk yet?

  (925): View more from California

  Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

  (408): View more from California

  Cant make any promises.

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  (408): You drunk yet? (925): Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them. (408): Cant make any promises. http://tfl.nu/jm9i
  Replies (9) Good night (4803) Bad night (660)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?

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  (701): how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am? http://tfl.nu/mmwh
  Replies (6) Good night (3681) Bad night (960)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.

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  (606): I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me. (1-606): Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons. http://tfl.nu/drp9
  Replies (4) Good night (4424) Bad night (1486)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up

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  (410): Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up http://tfl.nu/yev0
  Replies (9) Good night (5094) Bad night (981)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.

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  (985): Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me. http://tfl.nu/35pb
  Replies (6) Good night (1578) Bad night (673)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized

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  (217): Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized http://tfl.nu/ymju
  Replies (7) Good night (1976) Bad night (828)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.

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  (505): Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard. http://tfl.nu/5mz2
  Replies (17) Good night (3393) Bad night (633)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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  (+44): She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina. http://tfl.nu/51hz
  Replies (14) Good night (2392) Bad night (646)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater

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  (717): Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater http://tfl.nu/z0ly
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (794)
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  (760): View more from California

  Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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  (760): Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly http://tfl.nu/j8y5
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (450)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.

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  (910): Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music. http://tfl.nu/9l8h
  Replies (8) Good night (1296) Bad night (343)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed

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  (918): I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed http://tfl.nu/e5rt
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (542)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps

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  (404): Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps http://tfl.nu/z4wh
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (326)

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