Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
