I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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