You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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