I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
