I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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