Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
