he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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