Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
