It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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