I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize