hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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