Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
