Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
worst night to have a conscience
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
