Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
