He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
