I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
