next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
