found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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