i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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