i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
