The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize