yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
