Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
