A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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