If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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