In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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