You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Girls should come with a carfax report
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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