yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
