New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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