Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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