My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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