My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.