On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
