3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
