eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
