He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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