Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
