take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize