I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm at about main and main street
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
