Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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