do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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