Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
