The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
