Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
