Having a random hookup so left but love u
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
