that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
