i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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