Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
