Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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