I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Shame is for Republicans.
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