why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
