Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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