i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
