I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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