Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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