Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
