"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my phone needs a breathalizer
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING