I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?