the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish you could order shots online.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship