remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...