Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
