it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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